ERIN SIMMONS studio

How Small, Everyday Clothing Decisions Shape Our Energy, Focus, and Sense of Self

Have you ever felt off all day and only later realized it had something to do with what you put on that morning?

Not because the outfit was bad.
Not because it was ugly.
But because it never quite felt right.

You were tugging at it.
Adjusting it.
Thinking about it more than you should have to.

This isn’t really about style.

It’s about how small, repeated decisions quietly shape our days.

We Underestimate How Much Clothing Matters

We tend to think of clothing as shallow. Or optional. Or just aesthetic.
Something fun. Or frivolous. Or extra.

But it’s the one constant in our day.

Laws in this country literally require us to wear it. And yet, it’s still easy to dismiss how much it matters.

When I tell people I work in fashion as a designer and stylist, most imagine something glamorous. Runways. Trends. Shopping.

And yes, that is part of my world. I design collections. I show work. I participate in that system.

But it isn’t the heart of what I do.

The heart of my work is helping people feel at home in their clothes.

I’m interested in how clothing supports real life.

Why “How Do You Feel?” Comes First

The first question I always ask someone I’m working with is:

How do you feel?

Because how you look is always secondary to how you feel.

If you don’t feel good in what you’re wearing, it doesn’t matter how good you look.

You’ll spend the day:

• Fidgeting
• Adjusting
• Getting slightly more irritated as the hours go on

And all of that takes energy.

It affects:

• How patient you are
• How focused you are
• How generous you are with yourself and with other people

Clothing becomes part of your cognitive load.

And most of us are already carrying enough.

How Life Changes Create Friction

My orientation toward getting dressed changed dramatically when I had my son.

Suddenly, I had very little brain space for small, insignificant decisions.

My day had already been predetermined by his needs. When he needed something, everything else moved around it.

And I realized that’s actually how a lot of us are living now.

Our days are often shaped before we even wake up:

• By our jobs
• By our families
• By deadlines
• By obligations

We’re moving through schedules we didn’t design.

My brain felt full before the day even started.

The way I got dressed had to change.

I needed:

• Shoes I could walk and carry a baby in
• Clothes I could move in
• Clothes I could bend down in
• Clothes that could survive being pulled on or spilled on

Wearing white was completely off the table.

Suddenly, there were things I had to consider that had never mattered before.

That transition amplified the kinds of friction I was experiencing.

Things that had once been mildly annoying became exhausting.

When your life changes, your clothing has to change with it.

If it doesn’t, you feel it in your body and in your mind, all day long.

You don’t have to have a child to experience this.

• A new job can do it.
• A health shift can do it.
• A breakup can do it.

Any major life transition forces your clothes to renegotiate with your reality.

The Two Kinds of Friction

Over the years, I’ve noticed that most clothing problems come down to friction.

Two kinds:

• Mental friction
• Physical friction

Mental Friction: Decision Fatigue

Mental friction is about decision fatigue.

Every morning, we make dozens of tiny decisions:

• What works
• What fits
• What’s clean

Research shows that the more decisions we make, the worse we get at making them.

When your closet doesn’t match your life, getting dressed becomes work.

And you start your day tired, before anything has even happened.

Physical Friction: The Body Tax

Physical friction is about how clothes feel on your body. Against your skin.

We’re usually good at noticing when something is annoying.

But we underestimate how much those small annoyances accumulate.

• Does the fabric breathe?
• Is the tag scratching your neck?
• Are you constantly adjusting?

These things seem minor.

But when they happen all day, every day, they quietly drain you.

Muhammad Ali once said:

“It isn’t the mountains ahead that wear you out. It’s the pebble in your shoe.”

Most of us are walking around with metaphorical pebbles in our shoes.

And we’ve decided that’s normal.

What We Learn to Tolerate

We tolerate discomfort.
We adapt to friction.
We stop noticing the cost.

Most of us spend years quietly enduring small things that wear us down.

Clothing is just where I see it most clearly.

But once you notice it there, you start noticing it everywhere.

In your schedule.
In your work.
In your relationships.

You start asking:

What am I quietly enduring that I don’t actually have to?

Where Change Begins

Real change doesn’t start with reinvention.

It doesn’t start with becoming someone else.

It starts with attention.

With noticing.

With paying honest attention to how your life actually feels.

And then giving yourself permission to make small, thoughtful adjustments.

So that your clothes support you.
Instead of quietly draining you.

So that getting dressed becomes a source of stability.
Not friction.

So that you feel at home in your own life.

About Erin Simmons Studio

Erin Simmons Studio works at the intersection of design, styling, and daily life.

Through custom garments, wardrobe systems, and education, Erin helps people:

• Reduce friction
• Build sustainable wardrobes
• Create functional systems
• Develop emotionally grounded relationships with their clothes